Power and Restraint

     When I was a girl, I watched a lot of cartoons.  It was a great way to relax on a hot summer day.  One of my favorite cartoons was The Road Runner.  That crazy little bird would run around and Wile E. Cayote would do all sorts of antics to try and trap him.  He would put up a brick wall in the road to try and stop the Road Runner.  This brick wall just comes out of nowhere and tries to stop him dead in his tracks.   Just hold that image in your brain for a minute.  ​

     On January 6 of this year Jake (son#3) and I took off for a day at the coast.  It was such a beautiful day.  We drove over and listened to music and we both enjoyed the drive and our time together.  We visited some of our favorite places and then stopped at the beach.  He stayed in the car and I went to take in the ocean.  I stayed off the beach as I don’t really like dealing with the sand and it was cold!  As I looked at the waves tumbling forward, I felt that God was pressing on my heart, “Notice that the waves are very powerful but they have to stop and recede.  The waves are showing power and restraint.”  I took some photos and a video and then left to go and get some lunch.  It was such a wonderful day.  
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     I walked away from that trip filled up and relaxed.  

     The following day, on January 7 of this year, I was in a car accident.  I was heading to work at 5:45 am and a large white truck all of the sudden was right in front of me perpendicular.  It had come from a gas station on my right.  I slammed on my brakes and one to two seconds after that I slammed into the truck.  I remember thinking, “Oh, I hit him.”  Then I saw my air bag deflate and I thought, “Is this how I die?”  Then everything suddenly stopped.  I just sat there in my car stunned.  I mentally scanned my body and didn’t feel that anything was wrong. 
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    Then I heard someone talking to me on my phone.  My phone had called 911.  The voice on the other end asked if I was ok.  I talked back but I didn’t even know where my phone was.  The female voice said that she couldn’t hear me and asked me to pick up the phone.  I then saw that it was on the floor of the passenger side and I wasn’t sure if I could even bend over to reach it, but I did.  After I said a few words to the 911 lady a man appeared at my door.   

   The door was open and he said, “Are you ok?  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t even see you.”  I told him that I thought I was ok and for some strange reason I asked him to touch my hand.  I was really trying to just center myself and stay calm.  Then I asked him to hold my hand.  I just didn’t want to feel alone at that moment in my life and needed human connection.   

    The hood of my car was bent up like a mountain in front of my window and steam was rising from underneath it.  My fear was that the engine would catch on fire.  (I am a child of the 70’s and every tv show that I watched with my dad that had a car accident the car would always catch on fire and explode.)  I felt that it was very important to get out of the car.  I was concerned about walking away because I didn’t want to get weak and faint in the road.  I did feel a bit comforted that there were two guys outside in the road and thought that if I collapsed at least, it wouldn't just be me lying in the road. 

     I got out and looked for oncoming traffic.  The truck that I hit was blocking both lanes of oncoming traffic.  I made it to the other side and sat down on the curb of a planter that was in front of a Carl’s Jr. 
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     I walked away from the accident unscathed.   ​

     Soon after I sat down a paramedic squatted down next to me and asked a bunch of questions.  Once he was done all I could think was that I was supposed to be at work soon.  The two guys that I would be working with that morning were the only two people who would know that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.  I called one of my co-workers to let him know that I wouldn’t be coming into work and that I had just been in a car accident.   
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     After that I was offered to be taken to the hospital to be checked out and that seemed to me to be the smartest thing to do.  I went into the ambulance and was being taken care of by such a wonderfully calm young man.  Of course, this was just a job to him, and he didn’t just have his body jacked up on adrenaline.  The police officer came into the ambulance and sat down and asked me questions.  He asked if I was wearing my seat belt. I said yes.  He said that I was in a serious car accident and that the seat belt probably saved my life.  His words affirmed what I knew.  I hit the truck really hard and I could have died. 
 
     The weird thing is that I knew in my mind that I hit the truck really hard, but I didn’t feel the force of the impact.  I was the Road Runner that hit the brick wall that was in front of me, and I walked away unscathed.  

     At the hospital I was taken care of by a host of different people.  There were x-rays, a CAT Scan, blood drawn and who knows what else done as test to see if something was injured inside of me.  I felt like I was living in an episode from the popular 1990’s tv drama ER.  Everything checked out ok.   
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     I walk out of the hospital holding the arm of my son, the same arms that held me as I sobbed a few minutes before.  The events of the day changed me.  I felt the impact. 

     Later that day I called the place that my car was towed.  I asked if they had pictures and the woman I was talking to shared two photos with me that were taken while my car was still in the road.  The front end was smashed.  The damage didn’t go past the front end.  It looked like the power of the impact was restrained and wasn’t allowed to reach me.  I couldn’t help but remember the day before how God pressed upon me the idea of the waves having power but restraint.  He showed me this again.

          I keep thinking about this idea that where there is great power there can also be powerful restraint.  Sometimes you see this in a person that you know.  A person can exhibit subtle characteristics that may look like they are low voltage.   Kindness is something that is very quiet and under the radar and at first glance can look unpowerful.  On the contrary, kindness comes from great strength.  To be kind to someone is to lay yourself down and think of the other person.  This act is one of great power.  It is our natural inclination to put ourselves first.  The power to restrain that inclination shows that the one who is kind is very strong.  It is a beautiful, powerful, strong character trait to be kind consistently.  Kindness is transformative.   

     I can’t walk away from kindness unchanged.  Kindness has an impact.  

    God is the ultimate embodiment of power and restraint.  He is the creator of all things; now that is power!  He is holy.  Holiness is great power.  Not only is He holy he is love.  Love is powerful.  Love gives.  Love gives not because the recipient deserves love but because the source of love is compelled to bestow love.  True love gives unconditionally.  God loved people so much that he gave Jesus (His Son) to pay the penalty for sin. (John 3:16)  The modern world may have a hard time understanding what sin is.  Sin brings death and separates.  Love brings life and joins.  Sin goes against God’s holiness and separates us from God.  Holiness and sin can’t co-exist.  Light (God) and sin (darkness) cannot co-exist.  In that lies the problem.  God loves us and wants us to be with him, but our sin separates us from God.  

    Sin can’t go unpaid for. God’s justice demands payment.  Think of how in a court of law a crime must be paid for.  Our sin is disobedience to God’s law, like a crime against God, and it must be paid for.   The price is death.    Jesus died to pay the price for our sin.  He rose from death and now lives forever!  In God’s power he is willing to restrain his penalty toward sin through believing that Jesus paid the price for you.  God in His love shows kindness toward you.  Believing this has a powerful impact in this life and the next.  This is the bridge made from love that joins you to Him. 
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     God uses places, events, and people to teach me and change me.  His love is powerful, and I can’t be restrained in sharing it.